God has been kind. I've been busy enough to keep my mind from wandering off to the forbidden niches. I have been pretty much successful to not let the devil dwell and take over my idle mind. My search for a job is still on, and it’ll be a long time before I give up. Well, I’m not really counting that as an option.
Every night, when my husband get backs home, completely exhausted and spent to the daily drills, I look at him in awe (and a little bit of envy as well).
'Lucky is the man who is oblivious to how the time just went by, when I was counting every second'.
Three years ago, I would have fought him over being neglected, would have howled and cried for attention, but knowing his commitments and responsibilities, I keep shut. May be I have grown over those things. I yearn to be as busy as him. It is an addiction and I have always enjoyed every bit of it!
‘Busy-ness’ is a blessing indeed. Not only does it channelize the energy in the right direction, it also helps keep the mind and body fit. And any day, nothing makes me feel better than having financial independence.
I've made friends with almost all the job-portal websites. The major players like Monster, Naukri and the Quikr keep mailing me quite faithfully, nothing of my interest though. Time has geometrically increased my desperation so I've even looked for jobs outside my domain. Someone might just consider hiring a Ph. D., a ‘gold medalist’, so to say.
I’m reminded of a dear friend from college. An above average student, she appeared too ‘casual’ to our professors; till she took them by surprise and made her way into a publishing house in Noida. She started as a copy editor but soon barged into the corporate world as a scientific officer with a major Indian pharmaceutical company, in their oncology division. There is just one thing I've learnt from her; it is the attitude, the killer kinds. Mine has mellowed down with three years of marriage and a growing sense of dependence on my husband; or maybe I never had one. Whatever it takes to get that attitude, I need it for sure and I need it now.